...My father what kind of man was he?
would he actually take care of me and my mother if he were here?
Is he even alive?
All these question popped into my head questions i can't answer.
But then again how could I when my mother won't even talk about him let alone say his name!
I needed something to take my mind off of my bio dad and staying in this house wasn't making it exactly easy.
So I called the only person I knew who could take my mind off anything my dance teacher Ms.Baker, or as i like to call her Karen. Technically she isn't officially my teacher or anything. Victoria refused to pay for dance lessons when i asked four years ago said it was to much money. Figures she's as stingy as hell. Anyway's four years ago I first met Karen when I was dancing in the Community Center theater I didn't know it at the time but she was watching me dance on stage, when i was finished I heard clapping behind me I turned around and there I saw her one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen; dark skin, dark hair Italian like me I presumed When she spoke to me for the first time her voice was filled with love, and care no one has ever spoken to me like that before not even my own mother.
"You were good" she said with a smile
"Thank you" suddenly I was getting all shy that was the first time anyone has ever seen me dance I was probably an amateur at best but Karen didn't think so. Suddenly without realizing it she was already standing next to me, still speaking.
"Sorry for scaring you I just didn't want to ruin your performance, you've got talent kid"
"I do?" I ask surprisingly
"yeah in fact you remind me of myself before I became a professional dancer; my name's Karen Baker by the way"
"U just started working at the new dance school right?" I ask cursorily
We live in the lower parts of Brooklyn so it's easy to know whose who here.
"That's right are you a student there?" All curious now
"No Vic... I mean my mother says its to much money to take lessons"
I started to pack up my stuff
"Then how bout I teach you? Free of Charge"
I turned around in her direction
"Why would you do that?You don't even know me."
"True but I would like to know you, I just moved here and I could use a new friend"
I looked at her puzzled she looked about the same age as Victoria maybe younger, and she wanted a twelve year old to be her friend?
One thing I could piece together was that she was interesting to talk to and plus I could use a friend. I'm not exactly Ms.Popular.
"Alright sure I'll be your friend my name is Cat...Cat Valentine"
"Nice to meet you Cat" she held out her hand for me to shake and I shook it.
That week practically every night I would dance with her it was amazing, she was amazing she didn't treat me as a kid but as an equal. I didn't have to greet her formally just Karen was fine with her and fine with me. That was the first real time I made a friend. I'm not much of a talker in school. I'm pretty much a loner sure people talk to me and everything but when i comes down to it I'm alone. But with Karen it's different we don't need to talk to express our feelings all we have to do i dance and that says a whole lot more that words. At least to us it does.
Suddenly returning from the flashback I gave Karen a call.
She picked up on the first ring.
"Hey Cat how's it going?"
"Not so good had to stay home, Victoria beat the hell out of my face"
Karen already knows what its like with Victoria and I, I don't try to hid anything form her.
"Can you come over and check it out? Victoria's off to work and won't come back till late".
Victoria is a retail's assistant so she's always working late.
"Sure honey I'll be right over" then she hung up.
When I opened the door she took one good look at me came in, and started swearing at how much a bitch Victoria is.
"I'd like to go up to her and slap the hell out of her" she said angrily
"You do that and she'll know for sure that were friends,then i could never see you again"
It was the sad truth Victoria doesn't know anything about Karen, and I plan to keep it that way. For some reason whenever she and i walked passed her work place she would put this angry look on her face and told me never to talk to Karen not even if my life depended on it. When i asked why she said it was non of my business so I left it, but I was always curious about it. My mother she really doesn't like anyone not even me, but when it came to Karen she seemed to really despise her. I did tell Karen at some point about this, but she couldn't care less must be the whole adult mature thing.
Karen gently held my face in her hands, and caressed my hair like a mother would do for her child at least that's what I see on t.v. Victoria never did that kind of stuff for me all she's ever done is put up with me. But Karen was the exact opposite of her she was everything I wanted in a mother, but sadly she was already taken. She was the mother of two boys back in her home town some place called Star-lake in New Jersey I think. When I asked her why she left she said she wanted some distance apparently she was going through a divorce She was married for eighteen years and found out that her husband now ex had cheated on her while she was pregnant. I wanted to ask her more about her life there but when I saw how said she was I dropped it, I must have seemed withdrawn cause Karen kept saying my name over and over.
"You okay" she asked worryingly
"Yeah" I said now more alert
"I can't believe she would do this to you" she said with disbelief
"Wouldn't be the first time"
Victoria had a run in with the law ever since I could remember it was either a parking ticket or swearing at a cop. She says its never her fault but it always is. When she wants to relieve any sort of anger shes uses me as a punching bag. I know I don't have to put up with it,that the police can send Victoria easily to jail with her record and all; but if that happened I wouldn't have any place to go besides a foster home, which was actually worse than Victoria.
As Karen applies ointment on my face, a new idea pops into my head
"Karen could you take me with u?"
Karen was getting packed up at her place said it was about time she got back home.
"Karen I was just kidding" I said jokingly
"No you weren't" she looked all serious now
Maybe I wasn't the thought had occurred to me but I never really acknowledged the possibility after all we were just friends.
Karen took my hand
"I don't want you to leave, your all I have" I said beginning to tear up
"I know but I'll be back..."
Before she could say anything else I interrupted
"Karen you have two boys that need you, I doubt you'll be back anytime soon"
Karen's face now puzzled asked me
"Would you want that...to live with me I mean?"
"I don't know" I was still sobbing
She stared at me for awhile, then takes out a post it and a pen wrote something down and gave it to me.
"Here's the name of the train I'm leaving on in two days it leaves at exactly at twelve, please come if your serious about leaving".
Then she left without saying goodbye I was filled with so many emotions that my head hurt even more than before. I looked at the post it, and wondered if Karen really wanted me there; as long as I've known her she's always been the type to speak her mind. So that meant she really did think about me coming with me, and I was so happy because of that.
I headed straight for my room and started packing . I didn't have much so one carry on was enough for all my things, the quicker i finished packing the better. The whole time I was packing the smile never faded from my face my life with Karen no Victoria. Victoria! The though of her made the smile on my face fade.
Victoria..the women who supposedly have birth to me how was I going to leave with her here? If she finds out I'm leaving Karen I'm as good as dead. I started heading to her room, I looked through her closet looking for my passport, birth certificate, and anything to do with me. One thing is for sure I'm going to live my life with Karen. Victoria had plenty of time to be my mother and ruined every chance I have her I'm not letting her ruin my one chance of happiness. I looked everywhere for my papers but couldn't find anything.
Where the hell were they? I thought angrily just as I was about to leave I tripped on this little dent in the floor. But when I looked at it closely it was no ordinary dent, you could tell someone actually pulled our the wood seeing as their were scrath marks on it. Besides me there was only one person who could do that...Victoria but why?What does she have to hide?
I was suddenly to curious now, that I pulled out the dent, despite the splinters.
When I was able to finally pull out the large piece of wood. What I saw underneath there... what I saw hidden there was shocking; and from that point on my life changed forever.
Democritus once said "Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses".
I never really understood what that meant. But then again I never understand anything. I don't mean I'm stupid or anything i have the highest GPA in my year according to my counselor. I just mean shouldn't we blame fate for what happens to us we don't choose what happens but fate decides it. At least it's like that for me....
My name is Cat Valentine and this is a story how fate decided to take a strange turn on me.
16 years ago i was born no dad just so called mom. I never knew my father my mother Victoria never spoke of him she just told me he's rich, whenever anything involves money she always mentions him, how he would take care of everything if he were here. I would get so sick hearing that practically everyday once i asked "then why doesn't he?" but when i said that she slapped me so hard that i got knocked out the next day i couldn't go to school because their was a giant slap mark on the side of my face. Victoria said if i took one step out of this house i'll be sorry. She's just afraid child services will be knocking on the door, wouldn't be the first time with her. She left that morning for work but before she left she said "your just like your father". She didn't say this in a loving way but a hostile one. It made me think how i was like my father was it the way i looked, or the way i talked i had this strange way of talking like i was this sophisticated high class princess instead of this shabby dressed girl who lived in a run down neighborhood. Everyone always teased me on how i talked but i didn't care they knew how smart i was so they always stopped after a minute or two. Personally i liked the way i talked since my mom talked like a skank that meant i talked like my dad, and i liked having that kind of connection with him even if i never met him.
Comin this summer an brand new original story is coming a story that makes you think about what's really out there a story that makes you believe that their are guardian angels out their watching over you
.... a story that will make you believe their are things worth fighting for
Angel of Fate
Why does my heart hurt
Everytime i see the women who gives birth to me standing there
dissapointment on her face
Why does it hurt?
I hurt her, but she has always hurt me
Me being her first born why can't she love me?
Instead she chooses my brothers over me
Do i hate my brothers??
No i love them
They treat me like im normal like im there unlike her
Why does it hurt?
Everytime i see her my pain returns i have never hated anyone as much as i hate her
Why does it hurt???
Just when you think ur own the straight and narrow their are so many things that happen that make you lose focus and make it harder to keep on ur path rite now i just celebrated my birthday and i wanted to start a new part in my life tht didnt involve me messing up but i realized that there are so many people out there who want me to fail and i realized that those kinds of people out there will never get that far in life cause if all they had to look forward to is me not being kept on my path then those people suck! they'll never get anywhere if life. Dont get me wrong im no saint and never will be ill always have apart of me that just wants to kick someone's ass. but that's okay im not perfect but im not bad either. i want to spend my last 2 years of high school being as happy as possible. im going to keep my head in the clear. and im going to turn me into a person tht ive always wanted to be.
Previous PostsAngel Of Fate Book 1 Part 2, posted March 2nd, 2013
Angel Of Fate Book 1 Part 1, posted March 1st, 2013
Check it out!, posted March 1st, 2013
Why does it hurts???, posted February 26th, 2013
Im not perfect, posted November 27th, 2012
BlogrollHere are some friends' blogs...
HelpEmbed Photos Embed Videos